It’s the last days of my teaching career and I can’t help but contemplate everything that sucks in this job. In my opinion, teaching has got to be the most deceptive and abusive career available out there today, with the exception of a stewardess on an airplane. I don’t get food thrown at me or have passengers screaming at me on a daily basis.
The deception of teaching is placed under the banner of “improving self-esteem” or some crap like that. I can’t count the number of times I’ve actually wanted to tell a kid’s parents to back off, their student is NOT an A student. Their ability just doesn’t go that high. Sure, they’re great kids and try hard, but sometimes, that isn’t enough. It’s ok to make B’s. But what do we do? We coddle the students and force them to stress themselves, just so they can meet mommy and daddy’s expectation of being perfect. At the end of the year, the kids are frazzled, stressed and unable to enjoy being a kid, while the parents are justified in their ridiculous expectations. The teachers are cynical and bitter with their professions. We aren’t educating, we’re training monkeys to perform perfectly for state tests and parent demands.
Teaching is also deceptive for special education students. We force low performing students to be placed in classroom with all ranges of talent. They not only feel stupid, but they are afraid to ask for help, since they think that makes them LOOK stupid. They then perform lower because they don’t understand the material and oftentimes, refuse help when teachers try to give it. They think that makes them look weak. They are being primed for failure. I’m of the opinion that if a student is still performing at a 3rd grade level in the 8th grade, something is desperately wrong with our educational system. Perhaps they needed to have been held back in 3rd grade until they mastered the material. Perhaps they should have gone to summer school. Perhaps they should be in a self-contained classroom with others that are performing at a 3rd grade level. But don’t throw those kids into an 8th grade classroom. They are completely unprepared for the material, unable to master it, and since they don’t understand, become classroom disruptions to distract the students that CAN master the material. We tell them they can do anything and can perform at the level of other students, but sometimes, they can’t. Some students physically and mentally CANNOT meet the expectations we have for others. Instead of forcing them to meet stupid state requirements put together by a bunch of 80 year old retired teachers who have no idea of what teaching currently is like, we should have them meet requirements that fit their own developmental pace.
The verbal, and occasionally physical, abuse in teaching is at a ridiculous level. Not only are teachers abused verbally by students, we are also verbally abused by parents. Teaching isn’t about teaching anymore, it’s about meeting the demands of 120 parents daily, while fulfilling the job of a zookeeper, who trains and controls hyperactive animals. I have been screamed at, cussed at, had a book shoved into me, temper tantrums fit for a 5-year old thrown and students getting so pissed and refusing to leave the room that I actually fear they will stab me in the hand with a pencil. You should have the right to feel safe in your workplace, but teaching is one of the least safe environments for professionals. Not only do you have to worry about harassed kids shooting up schools, you also have to worry about crazy people in the community coming into the school and going on a rampage. Not to mention that there are all the Severe Emotionally Disturbed kids who can’t control their emotions and are literally, walking time bombs. And what happens when a tragedy occurs at the school? Who are the first to be blamed? The teachers. I see 120+ kids daily and I’m expected to monitor each student in my classroom and in the halls to look and search for any signs of harassment and teasing. That is completely impossible and unrealistic. With 30 kids just in my room, I might be able to do that. But over a hundred kids that fly in and out of my room all day and are a mass of congealed teens in the hallway? Where the noise level is so high in the hall that I can’t even heard myself think? Granted, there are those teachers who let that stuff slide in their classroom, but I feel that they are very rare. Shouldn’t it be the parents’ job to teach their children not to tease and be kind? No, apparently the parents can be as bigoted, racist and ignorant as they want, but they expect the teachers to erase anything the parents have imprinted on their children, re-teach them morals and politeness, then babysit them as we send them off into the workplace, completely perfectly cloned and free of emotionally scaring. It’s an impossible task and it pisses me off that the teachers are always the ones to blame. We’re handed these multiple and impossible tasks, yelled at when we try to explain how impossible they are, then blamed and berated when, in fact, all of these tasks are not completed at the level the community views as acceptable.
The parent abuse has steadily gotten worse and worse over the past three years that I have taught. The worst of it is through emails. Let’s look at a few examples, shall we? We’ll start with the subtle ones, then progress to the terrible:
"I know it's late in the year, but please don't be shy about contacting us directly! We need to nip this attitude in the bud right now!"
The context of this message was because her son was missing one assignment. He has a pretty average grade, definitely not down in the last two letters. Apparently, however, according to this mother, I am supposed to contact every parent every time their son/daughter is missing one assignment. Forget spending time on those students who are failing! I want my son to get an A!!! AAAAAAA!!!!!
"I still see that “Freddy” is missing a test. I keep telling him that he needs to ask you for it - can you make sure he gets it?"
So my policy is that students come in during lunch or study hall to make up these quizzes. They’re QUIZZES. They can’t take them home. This mother wanted me to go into the cafeteria during lunch, scout out around 200 kids and FIND her son, then FORCE him to take this quiz. Uh…no. See a problem with personal responsibility here?
"I understand why there is a dress code in place. I also pay very close attention to what my daughter wears to school and outside of the house. If you could please address any concerns you have with how she dresses to me from now on I would greatly appreciate it. At this age, keeping her self esteem up is something I am trying to focus on."
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA. I laughed out loud when I got this. Her daughter’s skirt was VERY appropriate, until she got to school and hiked it up so it was a booty skirt. I didn’t even send her to the office, I just told her to fix it. The even better part was that her mom emailed me before school was even out, which means her daughter snuck into the bathroom with her cell phone to call and complain. The little guilt trip at the end of the email didn’t work at all by the way. I didn’t even bother replying to this. I answer to my principal, not her, so who is she to “run things by”?
"I’m still concerned as towards whether she was able to hand in all her projects, do all her homework and redo the quiz. What are you still missing from her and what work will you accept that can be done?"
Ok, “whether she was able to hand in all her projects”? I have no idea what this daughter told her mom, but apparently in fantasy land, her daughter tried to turn something in and because I “hate her”, I told her to screw off and didn’t take her assignment. Oh yeah, and all our assignments are online. So mom can look…online. To see what she is missing. It tells her. Right. There.
"In speaking with him on Friday, he indicated that he did indeed turn this before spring break. I am not sure what happened to the final report he handed in, but thankfully he saved his report on his laptop. I am hopeful that he can receive full credit for this report as it seems to have been misplaced. "
This was another one of my favorites. Her kid has consistently been failing off and on all year because he ALWAYS turns assignments in late. We call her every week because he’s missing something. But this time, it was just NOT POSSIBLE that her son didn’t turn his paper in on time. I HAD to have misplaced it. And let me add that if you know me at all, I’m one of the most anally organized people ever. My desk is spotless. All of the papers had been graded and even passed back to every kid, so I would have caught a missed paper. Alas…I took off late points anyway.
"I know she should have turned the paper in and I'm sure she deserved the late penalty. I guess I would have hoped you might remind her gently, and that there might be a little grace, given the situation and emotional shock she'd been through."
Again, seriously? Guilt trip? They used to work on me with my parents, but not with little children and overprotective mothers. This girl had a family member die and she was out of school for awhile. Instead of telling her teachers, the mom just assumed we’d magically know the situation and “take grace” on her. Then when we marked her off with late points, we were mean, evil, rude and snide jerks to her wonderful, precious, angelic daughter. I basically told her to notify us directly and let her kid off of the late points.
""On the Friday before Spring break when you had a substitute, he asked a question to the substitute and she told him to ask you after Spring break." This is his reason for turning in the report late but feels that because of these circumstances that he should not receive a late penalty. He really didn't want this email to be sent because he really likes you and I don't want you to think I am a fussy parent.:)"
I kind of like this one. The quotes crack me up because dad is “quoting” what his son told him. And really, when I give a deadline, then get sick, you can’t have a “question” the day it’s due and then get to turn the report in late without a penalty. You ask before it’s due. I gave him a late penalty anyway, but OH BEHOLD, he feels he should not get one. Although, I do like hearing that I am liked. :)
"I am concerned that “Billy” received a late grade on his research project when it may have been completed on time. I was told by him that he remembered turning it in on the 19th when all students were asked to place their finished project on the stool in your classroom. I would like for him to have an opportunity to get a better grade for a project that was finished on time."
These research papers sucked hard core. Again, a kid that has consistently turned things in late all year tells daddy that he turned it in on time and BAM! It is my fault! I lost it! I misplaced it! I am cruel and unusual in my punishment!!! Yea, I told his dad that his memory was wrong and I took off late points anyway. Seriously people.
"After looking, we discovered “Bob” had missing work in your class from when he was ill in February. I emailed “Bob’s” entire team asking for work he needed to do to stay caught up in his classes. When he returned he asked each teacher what needed to still be done. You never emailed me back that he should be studying for either week, nor when he returned did you tell him he needed to make these two tests up. "
This mother was a NIGHTMARE. She wrote novel emails. Now, “Bob’s” missing work had been posted online for like, 2 weeks. She waits until the LAST DAY of the quarter when I have to post grades to email this. I don’t email her about spelling quizzes because he has to get the answers from me first, can’t study until he gets the answers from me, and then has take the quiz with me during lunch. He knows this, as he’s been gone before and had to make up quizzes. I totally told him he needed to make these up, too. Once again, parents believe their irresponsible, immature children over an educated adult. Smart.
"We spoke with him and he mentioned that two boys in class were carrying on and being distracting. I also understand that he sits on the other side of the room from these two. In 7 years of schooling, we have never had an issue with him and his classroom behavior so I am hoping that you can elaborate on this."
Oh my goodness. So this kid was joining in with two others kids and being very rude and distracting during class. I email daddy to ask him to talk to him about his behavior, but “in 7 years of schooling we’ve never had a problem”, so I guess I’m the one that has a problem with their angelic little boy. He also lied to his daddy quite a bit over the year with problems in various classes with several teachers. Daddy believes him every time. So. Stupid.
"We are writing to you to express concern over the amount of work we are seeing come home compared to other years and other teams. “Carl” is a responsible worker and what is coming home is not because he didn't work in class--it is assigned work for home. We are avid supporters of a book and would be happy to share excerpts or the entire book with any of you."
Hahahaha. This is from nightmare mommy again. We had a meeting and figured out that “Carl” was doing assignments about a week or two ahead of time at home. He also was doing what was supposed to be classwork as homework. He would sit in class and do nothing because it was already done, but would sit at home for hours working on “homework.” It was ridiculous, but the parents simply would not believe us. It had to be our fault, not their sons.
"I was hoping that there might be simple handouts just so he would be able to keep up with his skills. I'll see if I can get something from The School for you to review to see where he left off in 5th grade. That may be helpful in assessing what he has already learned too. He has a lot of head knowledge - the trick may be to get him to incorporate his understanding into his writing."
I really love it when people tell me how to do my job. If they think they can do such a better job, why don’t they take over my classes? This was one of the first weird emails I got from parents at the beginning of the year. I guess she thought her kid was gifted, which he didn’t test as. Then she thought he should have advanced grammar practice, which he shouldn’t have had because he got a VERY average grade on the pre-test, indicating he didn’t know everything. Mother was going to deem it upon herself to pick up materials for me to use for her son in class. WOW, thanks.
So, besides email, phone and personal contact abuse, I have had a few good things happen from parents. For example, at the beginning of the year, I sent out handwritten cards introducing myself to the kid’s parents, or I should add, the parents of kids I thought would be a problem in the future. So…
"I just wanted to drop you a quick note of personal thanks for the handwritten card you sent, introducing yourself. I wanted to respond in the same handwritten fashion, but finding a card and stamp is causing too much delay and email is so easy. (Oh brother). Knowing that you care enough about your responsibility to educate my child to send the note really impressed me and I’m glad you are teaching him."
This kid ended up being a HUGE problem in my class, so now that the year is over, I find this email incredibly entertaining. He was loud, obnoxious, snotty, and disruptive. Dream child.
"On a more positive note, we have started reading Poe', "A Descent into the Maelstrom " out load."
Again, lmao. This mom knew I loved Poe and I guess that reading is quite a “load”. He he he.
"Hey,
Hello to you."
That was how this parent’s email started.
"Thanks for serving us."
That’s how the email ended. I think that sentence says a WORLD about what parents think of teachers.
"Thank you for all you are doing in the life of my son."
Man, that’s cheesy. I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone.
"Thanks so much for the lovely note! We look forward to being your partner in “Pseudonym’s” education. He is a bright but very active kid with a relatively adult sense of humor; this has led to some self-control issues in some of his classes in the past."
Oh REALLY. That clued me in right away and boy, I was not surprised. He was a huge pain in the butt all year long. “Adult sense of humor”; someone watches too much Family Guy.
Although I do sometimes get good emails evaluating the good parts of my career, and even though I sometimes have kids confirm the value in what I’m doing, it isn’t enough. It’s not enough for one good thing said to overcome all the 20 negative emails and phone calls I get a week. Yeah, it’s nice to know that some people think I’m the greatest teacher and that they’ve learned a lot, but for me, it’s not enough to forget all the bad and negative things about teaching I hate. One good thing does not cancel out all the bad.
I’m completely pissed at my college, and actually, at most educational institutions who train teachers. It’s complete crap that we are taught. We’re taught about the unicorns and ponies and sparkles of teaching. They never teach about the grueling grading, pompous parents, asinine admins, and bitter, cynical, sarcastic “susies” of the teaching world. It’s a terrible injustice and it’s no wonder most teachers quit after 5 years. We expect the best, and we’re terrified and disappointed when we learn about the worst. Some people are able to take the worst things, deal with them, and focus only on the good. But for me, maybe it’s just my personality, but all I can focus on and think of is the bad, terrible, unjust and unfair practices on teaching. The good stuff is nice, but I can’t focus on it. It just goes through my mind, while the negative stays and dwells and grows into a huge monster of cynical bitterness.
All in all, I’m pissed that I spent four years of my life preparing inadequately for a profession I hate. I wish they would have let me know right away what it was really like, instead of wasting my money and time and years of my life. It sucks and I’m completely disillusioned about the entire teaching career choice now. However, I’m very excited to see what job I end up getting in July! I’m hoping it’s completely crazy and different than anything else I’ve ever done in my entire life. What do you guys think: assassin or exotic dancer???
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apathetic
pessimistic
crappy
depressed
angry
tired
energetic
mellow